Verbotene Liebebuchstaben
by ShadowBYeBYe
Summary: Letters being read by those other then the intended readers.
1. Letter 1

Dear Sokka,

Many Years have passed since our last letters. There has been moments where I find myself looking out the window, searching the horizon to see if you are there. Too many hours have passed since I last saw you, much more time since we were able to talk. There is so much that has been left unsaid, and so many more things that has been left undone. The loose ends need to be tied, and the haze that darkens my mind needs to be lifted.

Worlds collided in our past, which was the reason that we were brought together. War that created a tension among the nations for hundred years. So much blood was shed during those times. The innocence that was lost on the voyage to resolution numbers the better part of millions. Soldiers called to war in their prime, as young as or even younger, then we were. The sights that we endured during those more treacherous of adventures as we fought together for what was the greater good, have still these many years later kept me up at nights.

Speaking of innocence lost I can only let my mind wander so far before I have to rein it in. Our friends secret love triangle that none of them knew what actually was. A horrible thing that they were never able to divulge their true feelings before the end of the war. Now we are all scattered across the globe, coming into contact with one another only by chance or for a tragic emergency.

A pain reaches deep into my soul when I think of our last time together. I can think back to the day I received the news. I couldn't believe at first. Surely it was a dream, or a mistake. I can remember all too vividly the feel of the parchment as the news of Toph's death sunk in. For a life to be suddenly ended at such a tender age, is truly a tragedy. At only fifteen, and only a month away from being of marrying age, she fell ill. Why she didn't inform us of the disease sooner, when something could have been done, I have yet to figure out.

At the funeral, watching the body flicker behind the flames, the smoke reaching out to the night sky, my heart went out the man who had hoped for her hand. His eyes were still moist from his finding her dead in her room. Your sister's eyes were already aged. Only three years, and a year of marriage had made her into a woman. Losing the hope to ever have children didn't help her keep her youthful appearance. Hearing that your sister had lost a child, while we were at the funeral didn't foreshadow a bright future for us. But as we walked along the shore that night, discussing the plans we had for our villages, I realized our future was ours to make it. When the topic of marriage came up, don't think that it passed by me you became tense.

After a failed relationship with Suki, you had not pursued another woman. Suki had grown unreasonably resentful in her time in prison. She kept it deep inside, but the blame was still there. She had blamed you for her torment. How could you find it within yourself to trust another female, after the love of your life blamed you for something you had no control over.

I can't blame you. For all the ladies I have had paraded in front of me, none have had that combination in which I am looking for. I find it amusing that of all the women falling at your feet, you can't find one to chose. Though, I can imagine why.

I hope this letter reaches you in a timely fashion. I wait eagerly to receive a letter in response. So much time has past, as I had said, and the need to converse with you has grown from a trifling fancy to a pure desire.

Zuko


	2. Letter 2

Zuko,

You are right, too much time has passed. If the news hasn't reached you yet, Katara's latest pregnancy has also ended in sadness. She wasn't able to carry the child full term. Her heart is broken and her spirits are low. She has decided that she wasn't meant to have children. Though, I don't fully believe that it is Katara's body that is causing the problems.

Toph's death was a sad blow to all of our lives, but in her death she is now able to see more then you or I will ever be able to imagine. You mentioned their love triangle, but you said nothing of your own. Is that a ploy? A tactic you are using, perhaps, to try and get me to talk about it? Toph was never able to tell the others how she felt. The two still alive haven't admitted their feelings either. This will be a ghost that haunts them, if they refuse to talk about it.

That Katara never knew of Aang and Toph's nights of passion, still brings a question to my mind. But then Toph never knew that Katara and Aang had love for each other. It is a real shame that they hide their love from the world. But the saddest yet is that through fear of persecution, Toph was driven from Aang. Katara ended up winning a battle that she didn't know was being fought. 

I can remember thinking back in my youth that he was a lucky man. His ability to be with two women, with neither of them knowing, was something of fantasies. But in those thoughts, anger boils up from the pit of my stomach. He not only took advantage of the feelings these women had for him, but he used them for his own pleasure and physical gain. My sister being on of his pawns. Now she is burdened with the pain of loosing not just one child, but now two. In her marriage to Aang, she has known more torment then she would have ever known had she married Haru or yourself. Not that they fight, but in his being the last of his kind, I believe, he is failing to acknowledge that he is not capable of producing a child. 

I do wonder, though, how far you let your imagination wander before you rein it in. Surely you don't let your fancies delve into bad ideals. It is clear from your letter that there is much that needs to be discussed. The night on the beach, was an enlightening one for the both of us. I learned of your latest fear that again a war would break out, not among nations, but within the walls of your own people. Those who are unhappy don't know why they are unhappy. And those who are content with their lives, don't understand the strife that causes the unhappy to be so. With the misunderstandings within your kingdom walls, is born resentment. 

It's not that in my village I don't have struggles. There has been a recent outbreak of violence under my control. A group of young men have decided that in order for them to prove themselves men, they must attack our elderly. I have exhausted every means of punishment that is not of physical means. I fear I will have to resort to a physical form of punishment before this insanity will stop.

It isn't that I cannot trust a woman, it is that I have no desire to be with one. I loved Yue, and she was killed. Surely you can remember your uncle, may he rest in peace, kneeling and weeping for the passing of the moon, with my sister. I had such strong feelings for Suki, but I 

was wrong to assume she returned those feelings. It may have been that she was confused, but her hatred for me was so prominent inside of her that a relationship would have been impossible.

And what of you? Surely the ladies, haven't bored you yet? Mai, I believe was her name. You were so fond of her, yet when you left her to join us; you refused to speak about her. Your first letters after the war, spoke of possibly rekindling that flame. But after a few letters the news of her stopped. You haven't mentioned her since. 

Is there something, perhaps, that you are keeping from me? As you said, there are loose ends that need to be taken care of. 

So you know, you aren't the only one who has found himself, yearning the companionship and conversations that were kept in our younger days. 

I look forward to your reply.

Sokka


	3. Letter 3

Sokka,

My condolences to Katara and to you on that loss. Such a heartbreaking piece of information is always hard to bear. You stated that you believe that isn't Katara that is unable to carry the child, bit Aang unable to provide it. There could be truth to that, but also your sister is not in her element. To be in such a fickle environment, that her body is unaccustomed could lead to miscarriage. Perhaps if she tried, her next pregnancy, to come stay with you until the child is born, she may have a little more luck. 

I mentioned their love triangle, merely to demonstrate the tragedy of keeping their love hidden. It wasn't a ploy. Though, it would be one of my tactics, I assure you that is not what I intended. You discussed part of the triangle, and placed blame solely on Aang for taking the pleasure where he could get it, but you failed to mention the rest. That leads me to believe that you were ignorant to the rest of it, or just refused to acknowledge it for what it was.

Katara and Toph were just as much to blame for the transgressions that took place. Were you blissfully unaware of the love that passed between the two, the passion in which they held each other? They loved each other in the same way that they loved Aang. Neither of them looking past the physical pleasures of their meetings, enough for them to discover that there might be something a little more worthwhile in the companionship they took advantage of. Just as Aang used the two women, the two women used Aang, and each other. The three of them were guilty of lust and that is the truth. Speaking from my own guilt, of being pulled into the triangle unknowingly, lust is a horrible creature.

I do still hold the regrets close to my soul. I could pride myself in not falling into the pit along with them, but regret still pulls me for not giving proper warning to Haru. I know that he never divulger to any of them what he found out, but when the woman you are in love with smells of someone else, it's hard to keep from finding out the truth.

You mention Mai. Yes, ashamedly I do admit that my pride and my stubbornness kept me from conversing about my love for her once I joined the group. It was hard enough to leave her, but then to have to swim in the pain to talk of her would have been too much for me. I wouldn't have been able to stay surface. I do believe that in the pain I would have drowned. When I had returned to my kingdom, she had waited for me. Her anger was immense, and I believe I still have bruises on my arm where she hit me. But her love for me was still there. As I told you in our earlier letters, we were going to be married. A month before our wedding, I learned something horrific. My beloved Mai, was with child. Now this isn't an instant that would be considered horrific in any other situation, but Sokka, I had not been with her since before the war was ended. The last time we had spent together in that manner, was before the eclipse.

She was a three months pregnant. I had been back, and we had been together for six months. The math didn't add up. I did find it curious that there was a point that she had wanted us to go to bed, but I refused her. I told her that I would not put her honor on the line just for physical pleasures any more. We were already engaged at that point, we could hold off until our wedding night. We never made it to that day. After I learned of her pregnancy, I was devastated, but I was going to continue with the wedding. She told me that because of my willingness to keep her, even though she thought herself 

soiled, brought even more love to her heart for me. She proved this well when she left with the man who had impregnated her. I received a letter from her a month ago. She had eloped, named her baby girl, Huria, who is now two years old, and is expecting another one. She went on to tell me how happy she was in her life. My disgust with the letter has forced me not to reply. The parchment is still in the back of my desk. There are good women out there. I haven't found one yet, but I haven't lost faith that they are out there.

The hatred hasn't boiled in my kingdom yet, so far that it can't be controlled. We have actually made great progress in making our citizens more comfortable with their lives. But still the trials are there. 

As they are everywhere. I await your reply.

Zuko


	4. Letter 4

Zuko,

I hadn't thought of the environment affecting Katara's pregnancies. I will pass that suggestion on to her. Although, I have been thinking lately, of how badly she wants a child. I can't seem to convince myself that she wants to have a child. Sure she is devastated when she looses one, but I don't think these pregnancies are planned.

I guess that I was naive to the entire situation, and relationship between Katara and Toph. Though for the longest I was in the dark about the relationship that they each shared with Aang. Seeing it from that perspective I can see clear enough to see that the blame isn't on just one of them. Mentioning their love triangle merely to show the tragedy of hiding their love? Is that it? You are such a fool. 

I didn't know that Mai had done that to you and now I can see that your heart is just as worn as mine. I disagree with you though. I can't see that there is a good woman left out there. Even my own sister has done things in which I disagree. 

I wonder though. You stated that none of them could look past the physical pleasure to see that which was truly worthwhile in companionship. Tell me, just what is so worthwhile about companionship? What is it that is so fulfilling that physical pleasure can't sustain? 

I regret not being able to write you a lengthier letter. I have much more I would like to say, but I am to entertain the Princess of the Northern Water Tribe while she is here helping me to solve the situation with the young men, I had previously mentioned to you. Her father hopes that more then just a peaceful village will come of her stay here. We will have to see where it goes from here.

As always, I wait for your reply.

Sokka. 


	5. Letter 5

Sokka, 

Tell me that you didn't fall for that? Please, I need to know that you aren't seriously that naïve. That is clearly a set up for you to get married. Besides that I thought Yue was the last princess of the Northern Water tribe? I must be considerably behind in news, or else I have missed something.

Truly you don't mean that about Katara. And you don't mean to insinuated that she is losing the children of purpose do you? Do you think perhaps it is because they are Aang's children that she doesn't want them, or do you think it is children in general that she doesn't want? 

What is it about companionship? You ask me things you already know the answers to. Companionship offers up more than sexual gratification. An ear to listen when problems are heavy, a hand that will caress when an ache is almost crippling and a soft heart to find shelter in when the trials of the world come to typhoon results. You are going to make me tell you in blunt terms, just for your own amusement. But you will have to work a little harder yet. Things that have come to pass have brought a new light into my way of thinking.

Tell me why is it that you have to entertain the princess? And just what type of entertaining are you doing? It seems to me that you have taken a stance against companionship and are leaning towards the urges of the body? Have you fallen into the pit of lust that fulfills only a bodily desires? It seems to me, that while your heart is sheltered you have found new and dangerous ways to release your frustrations. 

Perhaps, though, I have you misjudged. It wouldn't be to drastic to say that I would envy such a laid back manner, with casual tryst that would have nothing come of it. But I don't think, that if I am right, that these women mean nothing to you. You're heart becomes attached to each on, even though you may not realize it. 

Forgive me. You are a far better man that I am giving you credit for. I've known that since you sat by my bedside as the illness threatened to pull me into the darkness. While my brain swam in the darkness, I could still hear you. You talked to me while I was unconscious, divulged to me things that would never otherwise be spoken. Secrets that will be taken to the grave, that you might to have even realized that I could hear. Therein is the definition of companionship. You had so much on you, so many burdens crushing you that you had to tell someone. Although I was in a vegetative state, you chose to tell your problems to me. Perhaps it is that I was the only one that would listen. Dark desires, hidden fears, and even mistrust of someone close to you. All of these I can remember vividly as if you had just told me. 

As I hold our friendship close to my heart, also I keep these secrets. Not a word of them has ever been uttered. But of all the secrets kept between us, there are far more damning ones than those.

Have you any news of Haru? The last I heard from Katara, he was on a ship working out at sea. She wouldn't tell me what work he was doing, or what the purpose of being at sea was. She only told me that he had grown a lot since we had last seen him. He had matured and turned into a real man. I can't help but to laugh at that description of Haru. For out of all of us, he seemed the least manly. But who am I to judge. It seems my manhood has been taken from me, here in the kingdom. My refusal to take a bride, has the elders questioning my ability to make sound judgments. Because I am seen as too picky, some of the council has taken up a ideal that I would also be entirely too fickle when it comes to matters of the kingdom.

I am told I need to take a wife, or the women of my kingdom will become resentful of men. We need a woman in power to make the balance even.

I'm so tired of this life. The demands to be a perfect ruler do not come lightly. You know that as well as I do.

Zuko


	6. Letter 6

Zuko,

I have to admit that you response really aggravated me. Hell it just plain pissed me off. Who are you to tell me what kind of pit I have fallen into? Who are you to tell me that I have given into the pleasures of the body instead of the comfort of companionship? My body and my passions are not of your business. Perhaps at one time, they may have been. But that was long ago, and obviously you have changed. 

You did misjudge me. Silenia, is the younger sister of Yue. She has just come into marrying age, and as foolish as I am, I didn't fall for the attempted seduction that the chief intended. She merely helped me to straighten out the youth. Then she left peacefully with no further incident. While she is an attractive young girl, I cannot see my self marrying a sister of Yue in good conscience.

I don't mean to say that Katara is loosing her children on purpose. I would never mean to suggest such a thing. She is a good woman, and I don't believe that she would not have a child just because of who the father is. She loves Aang, I know this much. But I wonder how much of it is a romantic love? Regardless, It is none of our business. 

I doesn't my heart good to know that you kept your mouth shut. And you were right, I didn't realize that you could actually hear me. There was so much going on then. In all truth, we thought you were going to die. A diseased heart is not a good thing in any circumstances. 

What I told you was nothing but the truth. I can see that you aren't going to say what I want you to. Will I have to be the first one to admit to having feelings? Although, we both know that our relationship has been borderline platonic over the years, there is still the thoughts that wander helplessly in our minds. My at least, I know. 

Twelve years has passed since the war. Even as I read over the letters that we used to write to each other I can see that we have changed. Both of us have grown a lot in our command positions. And so have the others. Yes, I have news of Haru. He's taken a ship. He's became a sea merchant, though I believe that his merchandise is more along the lines of stolen goods. But that is only me belief there is no truth to it. I'm guessing you haven't seen him since the funeral. He has changed a lot. The sea has been harsh on him. His hair is still long, but he's lost that femininity that he had. He is a man, just as she said. 

I doubt that women are just now growing resentful. You do need to take a wife, or at least a strong female general. Hostility from women is not something I would like to face. They are hostile enough with out being mad about something. 

Life has it's trials. I have grown tired of the position, but I must keep it. Katara isn't in the position to take over the village, and Aang doesn't want to have to command two. Things will look up, they always do. 

Sokka


End file.
